25 August 2006

just playing around

i moved to the blogger beta option. so basically, i have nothing insightful or charming or funny to say today. just seeing how all this works! boooooorrrrrr-iiinnnngggggg!


22 August 2006

so much for the climate protection

resolution that the city signed in recently. check out this bit from the pitch. GRRRRRRRR!


nancy drewin' it

if you get that reference, you get extra points. i just said that little phrase in a response to a really funny exchange that i won't go into right now due to other pressing issues that have snatched my attention.

as you know, i'm a detective. and i like to get to the bottom of things. hence the nancy drewin' it.

right now, i want to get to the bottom of this:

when did we invade afghanistan? you rememeber, after september 11th, osama was there, so we (i use that term loosely) decided to start carpet bombing. oh, and also, the taliban was really terrible to the people there. especially the women. so we were also acting humanitarianly, of course. you know, to liberate the women (that haven't been liberated) and free the people from terror (who haven't been freed from terror), and to get rid of the taliban (who hasn't, apparently, been gotten rid of).

osama who? huh?

so this detective wants to know, what exactly has been accomplised in afghanistan, aside from countless deaths and the destruction of a terribly poor country to begin with? hmmm... STOP THE PRESSES! i found something! funny how oil keeps popping up in the equation. funny not as in ha-ha. now what i can't seem to find, is if the project has been started.

i've said it before, and i'll say it again. bush could get on the t.v. and say, "hey, ya'all - here's the deal. we're either in peak oil time, or we're close to being. either way, it's going to run out sooner rather than later. so, in order for you all to continue on in your over-consumptious lifestyles that you've grown accustomed to, be must secure the remaining oil. oh, yeah. and we like war. your fearless leaders are safe no matter what! and if you get hurt in the process, well, i've got two words for you. collateral damage. you've served your country and you should be proud."

and i have a feeling that the majority of americans neccesary to ease policy like this along would say, "cool! war on, george! as long as i can still drive one of my three cars to starbucks over in the next county - do what you gotta do, man!"

focus, kara, focus. ou're getting off topic again.
afghanistan. afghanistan. it's been what, 5 YEARS?!?!?

no bueno.


19 August 2006

so what IS it with me, anyway?

yet another synchronicity has befallen yours truly...

the term synchronicity was coined by none other than carl jung. i have noticed these synchronicities in my own life since a was but a wee lass. imagine my delight when i found out it had a name! so we all know my facsination with all things jung. i won't go there. but i will go here.

i was having a chat with one of my most favoritist people ever to rap with (yes, another soul sister), necia - just a few days ago. our conversations always leave my head spinning, as we tend to go all over. we veer off this way and that, and i always come away inspired. she is also a fantastic masseuse, i might add. she is a healer and a sage.

so in this conversation, i'm waxing over why i can't seem to get with any one "group's" program. organized anything and me just seem to not mix anymore. religion, parenting, activism, the list goes on and on. i've been feeling kinda icky about it lately. am i that difficult? seriously.

and she tells me that we're in the age of aquarius and what i've said makes perfect sense. we'll be here for the 2,000 or so years. here's the deal. this age is all about the individual. the collective consiousness is moving away from that of pisces (defined by it's groupiness) and going back to self. it's all about what each of us can do. what we will do. ah, ha!

i've been thinking about this ever since. so a few minutes ago, i decide to do a little more investigating. i google age of aquarius. i choose an entry. first line attributes to jung as the first to have written in depth about the different ages. say it with me now. synchronicity.

apparently jung explained it this way - the age of aquarius is a transition from the collective consciousness being controlled within the container that was pisces, to "that of being free of and outside the container." another jungian explains it like this,"the psyche will no longer be carried by religious communities, but instead it will be carried by conscious individuals." thank god. no pun intended. my relationship with organized religion alone is a whole 'nother blog.

so what does this all mean? there are a few things to note about aquarius. it is a sign that embodies all things scientific, intellectual, practical and visionary. ergo, i may just get that peace and justice i so actively pursue just yet. aquarius also encompasses dreams, hopes, humanitarianism, friendship. there exists a great potential for humankind to join together. BUT. yes. there is a but. negative qualities include thoughtlessness, fanaticism, and disorganization. also, aquarian inventions such as atomic energy also stand to destroy us.


it will be intersting to see how we fare. we can only do so much to the planet before we are ousted in a bloody coup. evicted, if you will. we can only war so long before someone pulls out the big guns. the earth is over-populated. food supplies are dwindling. global climate change will create mass disease, famine, and leave millions of people displaced... and it isn't years and years away - we could see these drastic changes take hold in as soon as 10 years. the power and intensity of storms and weather is already increasing.

the potential to do something that benefits us all, as well as the earth, is there. it's in the stars, if you will. interestingly enough, i found a couple of references to many christian sects equating the age of aquarius with the 'end times.' is this what bush is banking on? that he and his family and his firends will be raptured as the earth is destroyed?

curiouser and curiouser...
so what will it be?
what you gonna do?



DO THE HAPPY DANCE WITH ME!!! and then some...

last grade is FINALLY posted. i now have a total of 122 credit hours. AND it looks as if i will graduate with honors! a 3.96 gpa overall! it sure feels wonderful to end it all with three A's. 10 years ago, i never would've imagined this moment... I'am officially edumacated. dance, dance, DANCE!!!

now you get to stroll down memory lane with me. it's your lucky ducky day! you get to see how i ended up at the new school in the first place!
it was YEARS in the making.

so often during my 10 year hiatus from school i'd start kicking myself for not having finished (my folks helped a bit with the kicking too, of course). but now i can say that i'm glad i didn't then. i never would've found the new school on my own. and i just wasn't ready at that time. i had absolutely no idea what i wanted to pursue and i was merely going through the motions for everyone else but me.

ah, the dreamy-eyed delusions that i once held: first, i wanted to be a lawyer. a corporate lawyer, so's i could make a lot of money. i know! i had always assumed that money would fix everything beings how we didn't have any when i was small. that was at u.m.k.c - and i really didn't like u.m.k.c. so i basically stopped going.

next, i went to avila, where i met my dearest, most loviest bethy, who you will find permanantly in my #1 friends spot on myspace. we both wrote for the paper there and we hit it off immediately. she is a soul sister. we aren't always neccesarily born to our families i 've come to realize. we find them throughout our lives as well. but i digress...

avila found me pursuing a communications degree, with an emphasis in marketing. i had decided to take a weekend intensive course with a famous local advertising guru. that weekend, we broke into groups, and our group had to design an entire marketing campaign around selling a rock. yes. a rock. we sat in our little group for hours that weekend thinking about a rock. and how to sell it to pretty much everyone. the last day it hit me like a ton of bricks (no pun intended) - this path i'd chosen would someday find me trying to trick people out of their money for rocks. i walked away from avila and never returned. that was 1994.

i decided to go into the restuarant biz - i wanted to be a bartender. i love to talk. i did that for 10 years. same place. i was also a manager there. i'm not a very good manager. i have a hard time yelling at people and telling them what to do. i assumed that everyone knew what they were supposed to do and for the most part, everything ran relatively smoothly. corporate thought i wasn't mean enough. whatever.

this time was a huge transition for me. i found that i really loved, in every sense of the word, talking to people and listening to them. i wanted to know everything. i found myself at the receiving end of hundreds of people over their years, pouring out their souls to me. it struck me one night, that i was basically an untrained psychiatrist. i handed out the meds and listened, giving advice when asked. i found a box of letters in my cleaning spree the other night from patrons that had slowly become regulars, then later friends, that expressed gratitude for our conversations and how they had felt transformed. while i had forgotten about those letters, i realized that ii had found my calling way back then...

then there was a flurry of events - i was hired on as a d.j. for a station here. i was a part-timer, doing sunday night overnights, then moving to an earlier time slot. i was going to work in radio! i love music, so it was perfect! my first night on the job, my illusions were once again shattered. my p.d. told me that i could always drop a song to make up for time, but if i dropped a commercial spot, it would be my ass. the advertsing was haunting me. radio wasn't about the music, it was about what the listeners would buy. when the station changed formats, i decided to not stay on.

through all of this, my great friend charles would come in every week and talk to me about world/current events. i had no idea what he was talking about and to be honest, i didn't care half the time. nod and smile. but it was sinking in, lo and behold. he is intrumental in all of this. and i don't think that he ever had any idea...

in 1999, something else happened. the wto protests in seattle. i watched with absolute horror as people were being beaten in the streets. i had no idea what the wto was, much less why that many people would want to try and shut the meeting down. i began to dig deeper. the more i did, the more i realized i didn't really know anything. i had confined myself into a little comfy bubble and routine. i got up everyday, put on my make-up, did my hair, went shopping, went out drinking every night til i couldn't stand. worked in between. thing was, i was miserable with my life - something always never quite added up.

about this time, i found that one of my favorite musicians, ani difranco, had released a couple of albums with a man named utah phillips. in the liner notes of one, i found an intro by a man named howard zinn. she had written that if anyone wanted to knoww more about the history we weren't taught in school, we should read his book. i did. it changed me. i decided that all of the energy that i spent needed to be re-directed. some things had to go, some new things had to be invited in. for the first time, i actually became engaged with american history. people i never knew exisited, events i'd heard nothing about, jumped from the pages into my brain.

i cancelled my cable. i quit drinking. i cut out everything in my life that i didn't deem neccesary. the two hours that it took me to "get ready" when i got up could be better spent, i decided. bye-bye make-up mask, bye-bye perfectly coiffed hairs, bye bye sweatshop cool label clothes... (though i have to say, it was terribly traumtic the first time i left the house without make-up - i'd somehow gotten it in my head that as a woman i was required to look a certain way that was acceptable to society - whatever that means). i began painting. reading. writing. i embarked on a re-education, as i felt like i'd been slighted in my schooling. i began to examine what my place in the world meant.

suddenly, the holes were beginning to be filled - all of the 'off' feelings that had plagued me my whole life, the horrible depression that would come and go was quieting as i learned more and began to do something.

i found a kick ass used bookstore on 39th street where i found a TON of books for cheap. and just guess who i met there while gathering petition signatures on afternoon? go on, guess! ;)

then another one of my soul sisters, hallie, moved to nyc. she was going back to school to finish her degree. she told me all about the school. the history of it ... it was called the new school and she said that i must check it out. i ordered a catalogue. i could complete my degree online! the campus professors also taught online courses. perfect! i looked at my course options. the first one i found was a class about the zapatistas. this school was for me. through and through. but i was terrified after my previous attempts at school and how i could never seem to make grades. i was afraid i wasn't smart enough. my partner love convinced me to try. so i applied. i wrote one of my admission essays about howard zinn's book - a people's history - the other looked much like what i've written here.

during my interview, the interviewer (matt?) tells me that he was moved by my zinn essay, and that he had spoken there the year before - standing room only. i was offered acceptance. i began that fall. i designed my own degree program and took every psychology class i could. plus a bunch of others that were phenomenal.

and now. here i'am. finished at long last and in massive debt. but had i not taken a break from school, had my life not been full of what it has so far, i wouldn't be here right now. i wouldn't be who i'am. i probably wouldn't even know you. so be it. it is all worth it.

i just love me some synchronicity!


17 August 2006

if you've never

watched this video, i insist. it is one of THE most visually stunning pieces of work that i have ever seen in my life. yup. big statement. but true.

it is simply hauntingly beautiful and amazing.

after i first saw it, geez, going on a couple of years ago now - i looked up the director and sent her a note. to thank her. she wrote me back to thank me for 'getting' it. she also said that it was a project that everyone involved took very much to heart. i've been on her mailing list since.

and while you're at it, check out her site.


coolin' my jets

and beginning to think more pro-actively, as opposed to re-actively. what can i say? i'm only human... UPDATE:

in regards to the events that i previously blogged about - one of the worst possible things, out of this whole scenario, would be for me to allow lucie to have the power over me to affect me negatively. while i don't have much say over the way this was all handled on the part of the CID - i do have say over how i react. she doesn't get to control that too.

that said, i think that it's highly unfair for the CID (that collects taxes from all the businesses to supposedly help all of the businesses) to be able to serve life/unelected positions - leaving no room for said businesses to engage in the process. no oversight + board members not having to worry about being unelected = bad news bears.

there should be room for everyone. that is the crux of community. i also completely disagree with the idea that one person's vision reigns supreme. so, what to do now? what to do now... so that this never happens again. and my beloved 39th street isn't harmed in the process. hmmmm...

that's what i'll be working on.

in other news, i burned the roof of my mouth on a piece of hot spinach about an hour ago. it smarts.


15 August 2006

i'm seething.

for those of you who are expecting to see me and my art in a booth at the 39th street art festival on the 20th, i regret to inform you that i won't be there. in all honesty, there was some question as to how long i'd actually be able to be there that day as is - bebe's naptime, lunch, etc. but after today's events, i just don't feel right participating. and i won't.

here's the deal. a month or so ago, will was approached to sign a petition to close off the street for the festival, which he did. of course. he asked the coordinator of this event, who was working on behalf of the 39th street CID, if the bookstore could also feature live music, as we have the honor of knowing SO many truly talented music makers. the coordinator, bob, was excited. as the goal of the festival is to get people to come check out our lovely neck of the woods, right? and to support our local talent, right?

(i need to say here - there are two things that you need to know about will):

1) he lives and breathes music and literature and art - specifically our very own home-grown talent. he is the biggest supporter of local artists and musicians that you will every find. there is live music most every weekend at the bookstore. he founded the 39th street artwalk that we know and love today (that the CID is taking credit for now in the press - and when i told will about it, he said he didn't care as long as it HELPS THE STREET). he publishes local poets. he walks the talk. period.

2) he loves 39th street and wants nothing more than to see it become the booming area that it almost is and can be. he has poured his heart and soul into the bookstore over the many years. everything that he has done has been in support of our neighborhood and 39th street.

so - will tells bob that he prefers to work with local artists and would it be ok to have live music at prospero's as well? sure! prospero's will provide their own tent, do their own press and footwork at no cost to the CID. sure! it's all set. will asks several musicians if they will play over the span of the day. he gets a set list together of some of the finest musicians in kansas city. all of these groups are playing out regularly and have recorded. they are each fantastic in their own right.

today, he gets a call from the unelected president of the 39th street CID, lucie klemovec. she says, "what are you trying to do? the CID (buisness association) is spending good money to hire REAL musicians."

WHA!!?? REAL musicians?!?!?

when will told her that he'd already cleared it with bob - she said that he didn't ask her, and it didn't matter. they are moving the REAL musician's stage closer to the bookstore. with the PA that they will be using, the musicians playing at prospero's will be drowned out. ergo, will has had to cancel the music planned for the bookstore. five days out from the event.

so here's the deal. there is apparently enough funds, paid in by all the business merchants of 39th street, to hire a promoter to book REAL musicians for an event, when 39th street is already literally crawling with real musicians that take their work very seriously and can rival any "mainstream band" talent/songwriting wise ANY day. not to knock who *they've* booked, but i'm just saying. this is crap.

and to all the artists that i contacted that will be showing there on the 20th as per my prodding, i'm sorry that i'm bowing out now, but i just can't do it with a clear conscience. these musicians and artists are responsible for breathing life into this street for years now. without them, this area woild've shriveled up and dies long ago. i can not, will not, take part in a festival that is completely ignoring this, and being thouroughly insulting to my friends that make music.

do know this. prospero's will continue to support each and every local musician and artist and writer in this community. you are REAL to them.

do with this what you will. i'am not pleased.


14 August 2006

a 'lil this and that

and i shall not be delving into world affairs today. i won't do it. nope.

*the bebe's will and determination is kicking in like i never would've expected it to. either that, or his new teethsies hurt reallyreallyreally bad. or, he has been possessed by a bear. a small bear, but a bear none the less. if i stop him, from say, mutilating himself with shards of broken glass - LOOK OUT! he hears the word 'no' and throws himself to the floor in a flailing fit replete with big tears, a huge pouty lip, and head bangs. he now has perma bruise on his forehead. "head banging is self-correcting" my ass. i guess, in a way, it is - he only does it once or twice, but OUCH! distraction works for two seconds. i just keep trying to make everything so that i don't have to say no and catching him before he has a chance to commence the bang. i can't tell you the umber of times in a day that i say, "i know you're very frustrated and angry, but we can't (insert dangerous activity here)." i hope this is a phase and that it passes soon. i don't want my bebe to have scrambled brains and feel sad!

* i got the two scary rooms completely cleaned out! 9, count 'em 9 bags of trash, 3 offers to freecyle and three boxes full of recyclables later - CLEAN! now they'll be able to get to the windows to replace them. i've gotta say, it feels good to get rid of the clutter, though i really hated throwing out so much. there was just no way it could be re-used, nor would anyone want the junk. riley got to go in his room first time. and the room next door that we couldn't even walk into this time last week. it took 3 solid days. one more area left, and we're golden.

*still waiting on one grade. why must my global warming prof. torture me? speaking of global climate change, i've begun working on the series that i'm writing for my neighborhood's newsletter! there will be five pieces in all. i'm very excited for the opportunity.

* i was supposed to be in an art festival this weekend, but i don't think it's going to happen. i won't be able to be in my booth for 3/4 of the time, and i fear it will be more trouble than it's worth. i hear that people have been stopping by the bookstore and asking where i'll be, too. drat.

* it's time for an adventure. an adventure far, far away...

* oh! 10 days til birthday time! there are rumblings of a graduation/birfday celebration. i'll know more in a few days as to the specifics. i DO love a par-tay!

look! i did it! not one political rant in sight!


09 August 2006

oh, bother.

began to attempt to make a dent in one of our rooms that we've literally just been storing stuff in for years now. i seriously found an entire box of notes, we're talking like a hundred or so, that were passed to me either a) in class, b) at the water fountain, or c) slid through the slits in my locker. good gawd. that was like 20 years ago! why do i keep this junk?! and more importantly, will i still have it in a month after i've gone through everything? the prognosis is not good.


08 August 2006

oh, yes. i'am a quote whore.

"The corporate revolution will collapse if we refuse to buy what they are selling...their ideas, their version of history, their wars, their weapons, their notion of inevitability. Remember this: We be many and they be few. They need us more than we need them. Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." ~arundhati roy

Crime is naught but misdirected energy.
~emma goldman

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.
~emma goldman

Idealists are foolish enough to throw caution to the winds. They have advanced mankind and have enriched the world.
~emma goldman

If I can't dance, it's not my revolution!
~emma goldman

The history of progress is written in the blood of men and women who have dared to espouse an unpopular cause, as, for instance, the black man's right to his body, or woman's right to her soul. ~emma goldman

When we can't dream any longer we die.
~emma goldman

If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work.
In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.
~thich nhat hahn

When we come into contact with the other person, our thoughts and actions should express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable.
~thich naht hahn

“People are so isolated, and so alone, and so suspicious, and so competitive with each other, and so sure that they are about to be conned by their neighbor, or by their mother, or by their sister, or their grandmother. What's the use of having fifty percent of the world's wealth, or whatever it is that you have, if you're going to live this pathetic, terrified life?” ~arundhati roy

“Sometimes I think the world is divided into those who have a comfortable relationship with power and those who have a naturally adversarial relationship with power.”
I have no country to fight for; my country is the earth, and I am a citizen of the world. ~eugene v. debs

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism - how passionately I hate them! ~albert einstein

"There is no such thing as a good war and there is no such thing as a bad peace." ~ben franklin

"Today the world is run by three of the most secretive institutions in the world: The International Monetary Fund, the World Bank, and the World Trade Organization, all three of which, in turn, are dominated by the U.S. Their decisions are made in secret. The people who head them are appointed behind closed doors. Nobody really knows anything about them, their politics, their beliefs, their intentions. Nobody elected them. Nobody said they could make decisions on our behalf." - Arundhati Roy

A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a
living thing can go against it. ~ G.K. Chesterton

The question is not 'can you make a difference?'
You already do make a difference. It's just a matter
of what kind of difference you want to make,
during your life on this planet. ~Julia Butterfly Hill

If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, that there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance you may contribute to making a better world. That's your choice. ~Noam Chomsky
Powerlessness and silence go together. We...should use our privileged positions not as a shelter from the world's reality, but as a platform from which to speak. A voice is a gift. It should be cherished and used. ~Margaret Atwood

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those
who in times of crisis, maintain their neutrality. ~Dante

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to
tell people what they do not want to hear. ~George Orwell

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Neither certain nor indifferent. ~Jostein Gaarder

Certainty stops thought. Indifference stops action.
Find the middle ground! ~Peter Blanchard

Never doubt that a small number of dedicated people can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has. ~Margaret Mead

When the forms of an old culture are dying, the new
culture is created by a few people who are not afraid
to be insecure. ~Rudolf Bahro

A key is just a bunch of little angles, in the right
combination. ~JP Warren

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Begin it now. ~Goethe

"Seven Deadly Sins: Wealth without work; Pleasure without conscience; Knowledge without character; Commerce without morality; Science without humanity; Religion without sacrifice; Politics without principle" ~Mohandas Gandhi

"Only when the last tree has died, and the last river has been poisoned, and the last fish has been caught... will we realize that we cannot eat money." ~19th century Cree saying

"People today recognize fewer than ten plants but over one thousand corporate logos" ~Adbusters magazine

"Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell" ~Edward Abbey

“it is not a sign of good health to be well-adjusted to a sick society.” ~j. krishnamurti

“When I give food to the hungry, they call me a saint. When I ask why the hungry have no food, they call me a communist.” ~helder camara

"Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings -- that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide."

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a door mat. ~Rebecca West

The pioneers of a warless world are the youth that refuse military service. ~albert einstein

A country cannot simultaneously prepare and prevent war. ~albert Einstein

They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one's country. But in modern war, there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason. ~hemmingway

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. ~hemmingway

Naturally, the common people don't want war ... but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country. ~hermann goering

As I've often told Ginsberg, you can't blame the President for the state of the country, it's always the poets' fault. You can't expect politicians to come up with a vision, they don't have it in them. Poets have to come up with the vision and they have to turn it on so it sparks and catches hold. ~ken kesey

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." ~Benjamin Franklin

"When governments fear the people there is liberty. When the people fear the government there is tyranny." ~Thomas Jefferson


07 August 2006

the fruit of my labor

i just wrapped up my final semester at the new school university. if all goes as planned (i.e. so long as: the registrar doesn't decide that i need more credits, some fluke doesn't erase all of my records of attendance, or, as my friend sara responds to everything - as long as north korea doesn't kill us all) i should be alumni soon! while i'am SO pleased to have finally finished my degree after bowing out of school for so long - finishing also brings a sense of sadness... i'm terrified that my brain will go stagnant! it will be awhile before i can pursue graduate studies. meanwhile, back at the ranch, i'm on the edge of my seat - waiting for grades to be posted... patience, kara - patience.

i know i got an A in my american short fiction course. i'm awaiting confirmation of my final essay exam being received from my global warming professor - i have some concerns, as i sent her a few email messages during the course of class and she didn't respond. i hope it made it through? in any event, look forward to many many posts about global warming in the future. and finally, my micro memoirs class. here, i shall post my final revised writing for the world to see. ok - really for all 10 of you who actually read this, but still... it was an interesting class. we had several key words/phrases assigned each week from which we were to write about in increments of 5 minutes. they were timed writings, as to not let that little voice get in the way. then we'd revise and critique one another's pieces. we used a book my professor wrote and there are still many exercises that we didn't get to. i think i'll continue to do them, just for fun. to keep the ol' juices flowing, if you know what i'm sayin'.

oh! and please keep your fingers crossed for me - if i can pull two more A's, i will graduate with honors. honors! whouldathunk it? i hated school my first time through - and was a solid C student at best. i've busted proverbial ass over the past 2 and a half years, and this will mean the world to me. here's to hoping!
and here's the micro-memoir - but one of the many fruits of my labors:


I'’ am but a midwife. My hand guides the brush lightly over canvas, letting it decide what it shall paint - in this very moment, of this very day, at this exact time. Colors blend, bleed and dance. My hand eases the tints along as they meld together perfectly to create another abstract piece de resistance. Or so I'd like to think... One swoosh of Red, and I'm in the zone. Phone be damned, doorbell, too. Another swoosh of Blue in this direction, and another in that direction, and suddenly Red is changing to Purple. Green and Yellow are morphing into a deeper shade of Blue, tempting Purple to come in for a swim. And so it goes. I'’m in deep now. More red. It needs more red. The dog whines. Green. Just a touch more green... The baby is saying "‘he-llooo"’ over and over and over. Yellow. More Yellow… My hand urgently continues on. The world has ceased to exist. In these few stolen moments of bliss and completely letting go, I can't be interrupted. It is coming, it is almost here... …almost breathing.

p/s - stay tuned for a possible graduation/birfday celebration for yours truly!


06 August 2006

i'll make you a deal

on one condition.
it was recently brought to my attention by my girlfriend pam, that baby talk magazine ran a cover story about breastfeeding. accompanying it was this cover photo:

so the long and short of it is this - many irate readers flooded the magazine with mail saying that this picture was inappropriate and disgusting.
HELLO!?! a picture of a child eating is inapproprate? disgusting?

newsflash - titties aren't for just playing with and porn. the very intended purpose is for feeding. what is the matter with people?

so here's my proposition - since breasts are only cool if there's not a baby attached to one, i promise to never breastfeed in public again. AS LONG as every other woman in public makes sure that every single bit of flesh even remotely attached to their breastesses is completely covered at all times. no cleavage, no tank tops, no low cut shirts whatsoever. no swimsuits. it grosses me out! it's disgusting! why should I want to see any part of YOUR breast? why are you forcing it on me? AND i don't ever want to see your child eating in public, either. it grosses me out. it disgusts me.

but seriously - if you have some wacko sexual repression issues regarding titties, that isn't my problem. nor is it my child's problem, who doesn't have this warped view of female anatomy *yet.* to him, he is simply getting the best possible food he can , filled with antibodies, immunities, nourishment...

if that's disgusting to anyone, it's time to re-evaluate the cultural "norm" that got you to this point.
and if you want some things to really get disgusted over, message me - i'll be more than happy to provide you with a list.


you get what you pay for

so, israel is targeting hizbollah, who resides in southern lebanon? then what exactly is this i see?

u.s. tax dollars=weapons=foreign aid=bombing campaign.

bombing campaigns = bridges + roads +infrastructure destroyed= no way for humanitarian aid to get in to help the remaining civilians that haven't been killed or hurt already.

i'm disgusted.

Map of Israeli Terror

In less than a month Israel's terror Campaign in Lebanon has killed almost 1000 people, mostly civilians, and destroyed much of the country's infrastructure.

.... Not to mention U.S. supplied and funded Israeli terror --- Thus far (as of 8/3/06)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



04 August 2006

diamonds are a girl's best friend?

not this girl.

i just got a friend request on myspace from a diamond peddler. oh, the irony! clearly this was a mistake. anyone who knows me, knows how much i abhor every aspect of the diamond industry and that actual diamonds freak me out... they ain't cool. they ain't pretty. it isn't just african wars that are funded by the diamond trade - the terrorist group de jour, al qaeda, were busted using the diamond trade to it's advantage for money laundering purposes and to fund their operatives. lovely.

so, sorry, inland jewelry and loan - i'll be passing on being your pal. thanks, but no thanks.

back to my final essay...


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