so the weaning is still going well. nursies have successfully slept through the night since we've began. and get a load of this! the night i made my last post, at bedtime, bebe tells me to scoot over. he sleeps with us, you see. i tell him i can't move over any further, or daddy won't have room. he looks me square in the eye, sighs and says, "i need my own little bed, mommy!"
wha?!? i knew that was coming next, but i thought i would have at least been the one to broach it!
so own little bed it was! i made him a cozy pallet next to ours. he laid down after gathering up marty moose and ballum the koala and FELL ASLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW!
of course he woke up a few hours later and wanted to hop in with us. that's cool. baby steps. baby steps. he's fallen asleep on his little pallet every night since then. i have to get his little room together. we don't even have a bed for him. bad mommy. bad daddy.
in other leaps, we all had an adventure out to my school today to pick up books for classes. $350.00 later, i'm ready to begin my learning and cognition and advanced developmental psych courses in a few weeks. i'm nervous about grad school, but excited. i haven't been in a classroom in, what? 13 years? i missthe new school. i wonder if it will take some getting used to, the switch from distance learning to the classroom? and the book prices, p/s. we rarely used a traditional text book at the new school, so i was quite surprised by the cost of books for two classes. now THAT'S quite a racket! new editions every semester, etc. i got two of them used, so that was nice.
i have more to say about the opposite of leaps and bounds happening in iraq, but i have to race to stupid work now. suffice it to say this: puppet regime in iraq takes month long break because bush administration has nothing for them to do. because they won't sign away all the oil. clear as mud? grrrrrrrr. infinity. more anon.
bebe and i are embarking on night three of Night Weaning, which is when he mostly nurses these days.
i. am. tired.
it has been much easier than i thought in some respects. i spent the days leading up to the big first night telling him what was going to happen. he's only cried a little, both nights, and for the shortest of times - but he still wakes up a couple of times and asks for milk. i tell him that nursies are sleeping and they'll wake up when the sun comes up. i tell him to go back to sleep and there will be a little surprise for him in the morning. i tell him that babies nurse and big pirates drink water from a cup. i got him several little finger puppets, and i've been giving him one each morning in honor of his newfound big boy-ness... he is very proud of himself each morning.
no one told me what a bittersweet time this would be. last night, he asked if he could pretend to nurse as he was trying to relax. he sounded so sad. i can't help but wonder if i'm forcing him to stop before he's ready to based on some man-made societal ideal i'm subconsciously conforming to. he has nursed his entire life, literally, from the second he was born. nursing is as natural to him as breathing, and i feel as if i'm ripping it away from him in those moments when he feels sad... we will find new ways to comfort and relax, i know. all of the literature says to nurse, if you can, for the first two years of life. we did. and now that he is a few months past that, i get "the look" when i say he hasn't weaned - followed by a laundry list of how to and why i should. to be fair, i got that a lot when he was 6 months old as well. but i want to do what is best for him. always.
the thought of sleeping through the night for the first time in 3 years is an appealing one - i won't lie. and while i celebrate each of bebe's accomplishments with wild clapping, indescribable happiness, pride, awe and amazement in experiencing my once wee one evolve - i feel a sad tugging in me. it brings tears if i think about it for too long. weaning is yet another remarkable milestone in bebe's life, and at the same time, it is one that ultimately means that he needs me less and less as the days and months and years progress. i felt this way a little when he crawled for the first time, again when he walked, and again as the words came tumbling out. with each change, the tug gets a bit stronger. it isn't always there, but pops up briefly, as an exclamation point that jolts me to my core. as much as i try to live in the moment, knowing it is all we truly have, i can't help but see those tiny feet growing longer and eventually walking through the door to make a life that will be his own.
speaking of tiny feet, they are especially a-patter to and fro today. i think i shall scoop them up and cover them in smooches until he laughs so hard he wiggles away. these days and moments, they go by so quickly since he arrived. i don't want to miss a one. or take any of them for granted.
i never knew that i could love someone so very much... i'm humbled by its ability to choke me up like it does, like i'am right now, just saying all of this out loud.
isn't a baby anymore. i haven't really started any sort of potty learning venture with lil dude yet. i've read that boys learn later than girls, etc. he has a little potty he can get to easily and an awesome little adapter seat for the "big potty" that pam gifted us (thank you again, pam!) both of which he uses sometimes when he Thinks about it.
will called me last night at work. he'd taken bebe for a walk and to get an ice cream treat at the corner shop. midway through their treats, bebe says, "i need to go to the bathroom, daddy!"
after will recovered from his shock, off to the toilet they went. pee was made. i'm certain there was a high five involved too. i made tears - happysad tears. all i could think was that he'll be driving soon! he's evolving into such a little man!
up next? p/s - don't forget thatlive earthis tomorrow!!! while the irony isn't lost me, if it draws more people in - GO FOR IT!!!
sobluegrrrrltagged me. i'm IT! she asked that i list 8 random facts about myself. i always think these are fun, so i shall do my best to partake!
1. there'sa moviei want to see, but the actorin it affects me on such a visceral level that i can't. i've seen him in a bunch of flicks, and it gets worse everytime. closerwas the last straw - though it was a fantastic film that continues to haunt me. how can an actor drive me so batty? i can't stand his expressions, the way he carries himself and his voice drives me nuts. i know jung what have a bunch to say about this - perhaps i could channel him to find out why? i imagine it has everything to do with something about him being something about me that edges me, but, still...
2. i like cheese! i have the worst obsession ever with brie. raw, baked, you name it. i love everyone in the cheese family as well. i also have a real soft spot for halloumi. grilled, raw, no matter! smoked gouda? sign me up! oh, god. my mouth is watering. no more cheese talk. and i'll be right back. i need to go, um, not see what is in the 'fridge.
3. when bebe was still exclusively nursing, i actually LIKED the way his nursey poos smelled. STOP kara, STOP! too much information! ew! I AM SO GROSS!
5. if i could do it all again, i'd do it just the same. it got me where i'am today. the good, the bad, and the ugly - so be it. if things had gone differently, i never would have met my hunny bunny and love of my life. nor would bebe be here today. i love my boys with EVERY SINGLE INCH OF ME!!!! and i love myself too, through it all. no silly, not like that. and that mefriends, is just cool.
6. i can't get enough of ani difranco, even after all these years. but you knew that.
7. i LOVE rainy days. and thunderstorms recharge me! i could live in london or the pacific northwest in a heartbeat.
8. my favorite colour is purple. it has been since i was told years ago that purple is the only colour the u.s. has never used on a weapon or bomb. can't seem to verify that fact, but i like it. i like it a lot.
who to tag, who to tag? of course, you don't have to - but i really love reading randoms about peeps!
now, for something a little bit different. i got this handy dandy little tool the other day that allows me to put pictures into my computer - whereas, before, i've always had to wait for them to be emailed to me! yay!
i was involved in a playground accident. my friend jumped on my back during recess and i lost my balance. i landed flat on my face. literally. i lost half of my front tooth in my face plant battle with the concrete.
let me tell you about my week.
monday: the re-build filling that somehow lived for 24 years gave up the ghost. a mis-aim with a coffee cup is the culprit. i spent the day trying not to talk, which is next to impossible for me, as every time i moved my lip it would catch on the corner of the tooth and smart like all get out. nice.
tuesday: i go to the dentist and she re-fills and shapes it for the low low price of $280. one time, while i still had insurance, they told me i needed a crown for a root canal tooth and the total would be two grand. when i laughed, she said i could apply for a loan with a lender they work with - wells fargo bank. a loan. for a tooth.
"can we just pull it?"
i digress... so anyway - i got home and slid open the back patio door to let dogs out, and the one that would definitely be a drunk frat guy if he were a person, rams into me on his way out sending my heel into a sharp corner i didn't even know was there. then came the blood. a lot of it.
i woke up in the middle of the night with a chunk of my new 280 dollar tooth on my tongue - no longer connected to my tooth - it promply made its way down my throat.
wednesday: i call the dentist - they can't get me in until thursday. i hang up. will calls to say his new boss has started to lay off people and he's worried that since he's a temp for someone on maternity leave that his contract will be cut short when she returns part time in two weeks. i love a good surprise. i'm on the edge of my seat.
thursday: i go to get my tooth refilled. i must have done something. it is all my fault. whatever. i got home and will left for the post office. bebe went along. a few minutes later, the phone rings - i hear bebe SCREAMING in the background, "kara? bebe was helping me open the door at the post office and he shifted his foot at the last second. the corner pulled his toe nail back along with a patch of skin off the top." "oh god. is it bleeding bad?" "yes." "we need to take him to the e.r. - come get me."
5 hours later, we get to an exam room. the doctor comes in - it somehow doesn't need a stitch... but he needs a tetnus shot and why haven't we done this before? the other doc comes in 20 minutes later to check her work and says he needs the shot, with 'the look.' all of my year long vaccine research fails me. i say ok - but i only want tetnus, not the bundle. the triage nurse comes in and reads me the riot act for about 30 minutes about immunizations. i've already agreed to let him have the one. i have to be at work in 15 minutes. i finally tell him i know that i'm supposed to sacrifice my child's life for the common good, but... they finally rinse riley's toe and wrap it in a bandage.
i won't even tell you what i dug up from my tetnus research when i got home. i'm still sick that i caved in and let them give the shots. he had to have two - one dt combo with an active tetnus, one passive tetnus. and an assload of things that should never ever be injected into a person's blood stream, things that are known poisons - aluminum, formaldehyde, mercury, hydrochloric acid, hydrogen peroxide, sodium acetate... the list goes on and on - only to find out that there really is no way to gain immunity for tetnus and that the shots won't even work for 4 days. if he's got it, he's got it. and the chances of that are really really really rare. i. feel. awful.
i got to work 20 minutes late.
today: riley's toe is swollen - twice the size of the other. no signs of infection, but i'm taking him to see the doctor in the morning just in case. when i so much as brush the injection sites on his thigh, he screams - though he seems to be doing ok, otherwise. a little fussier then normal and clingy, but i would be too, if i was missing half my toe.
i'm fairly convinced that i'll be returning in my next life as a dung beetle.
then comes the cherry on my poop ice cream sundae:
the DEMOCRATS that voted for funding!!!!!!!!!!!
seriously. i wanted to believe after that last election, i really did. i wanted to be wrong. and i hate to say it, but:
meet the new boss, same as the old boss. except for kucinich. i still heart him. but that. is. it.
bebe likes to look at mine. the other night, he was gazing away at my partner's all time favorite infinity painting, when he looked at me and said, "i loooove mommy painting." i. melted. and while he proclaims his love for many a thing these days - my little lover bug - it was the way he said it - all serious like.
here he is, trying to ride the vacuum - and vroooming away:
the selective service system has just announced that it is gearing up to test the draft machinery. in 2009. what does this mean? for starters, could it be that there is no end in sight to this deadly course of waging war that we've been thrown into? i can't help but to think that reinstating the draft would bring a swift end to war(s) - that other solutions would first be sought in the future. if *their* sons and daughters (if selective service advice is taken) are called up to serve...
they can have the above beautiful, loving bebe (as i imagine that *they* will still be waging wars in 17 years and 4 months that can never be *won* by these means)
over. my. dead. body.
ok. you're NOT going to believe this - but i swear it's truth on whatever you hold sacred. bebe just started running all around, pointing at different paintings, saying, "i love mommy painting" over and over and over...
you'll have to excuse me. i have to go cover someone with all of the smooches in the world.
You are beyond wise. You are so smart, you're almost prophetic.
Your inner voice always speaks the truth, and you take the time to listen to it.
You are good at seeing who people are... including the darkness of others.
As a result, you tend to have a rather dark - yet realistic - outlook on life.
A: Carbon dioxide and other air pollution that is collecting in the atmosphere like a thickening blanket, trapping the sun's heat and causing the planet to warm up. Coal-burning power plants are the largest U.S. source of carbon dioxide pollution -- they produce 2.5 billion tons every year. Automobiles, the second largest source, create nearly 1.5 billion tons of CO2 annually.
Q: Is the earth really getting hotter?
A: Yes. Although local temperatures fluctuate naturally, over the past 50 years the average global temperature has increased at the fastest rate in recorded history. And experts think the trend is accelerating: the 10 hottest years on record have all occurred since 1990. Scientists say that unless we curb global warming emissions, average U.S. temperatures could be 3 to 9 degrees higher by the end of the century.
Q: Are warmer temperatures causing bad things to happen?
A: Global warming is already causing damage in many parts of the United States. In 2002, Colorado, Arizona and Oregon endured their worst wildfire seasons ever. The same year, drought created severe dust storms in Montana, Colorado and Kansas, and floods caused hundreds of millions of dollars in damage in Texas, Montana and North Dakota. Since the early 1950s, snow accumulation has declined 60 percent and winter seasons have shortened in some areas of the Cascade Range in Oregon and Washington. Of course, the impacts of global warming are not limited to the United States. In 2003, extreme heat waves caused more than 20,000 deaths in Europe and more than 1,500 deaths in India. And in what scientists regard as an alarming sign of events to come, the area of the Arctic's perennial polar ice cap is declining at the rate of 9 percent per decade.
Q: Is global warming making hurricanes worse?
A: Global warming doesn't create hurricanes, but it does make them stronger and more dangerous. Because the ocean is getting warmer, tropical storms can pick up more energy and become more powerful. So global warming could turn, say, a category 3 storm into a much more dangerous category 4 storm. In fact, scientists have found that the destructive potential of hurricanes has greatly increased along with ocean temperature over the past 35 years.
Q: Is there really cause for serious concern?
A: Yes. Global warming is a complex phenomenon, and its full-scale impacts are hard to predict far in advance. But each year scientists learn more about how global warming is affecting the planet, and many agree that certain consequences are likely to occur if current trends continue. Among these:
1. Melting glaciers, early snowmelt and severe droughts will cause more dramatic water shortages in the American West.
2. Rising sea levels will lead to coastal flooding on the Eastern seaboard, in Florida, and in other areas, such as the Gulf of Mexico.
3. Warmer sea surface temperatures will fuel more intense hurricanes in the southeastern Atlantic and Gulf coasts.
4. Forests, farms and cities will face troublesome new pests and more mosquito-borne diseases.
5. Disruption of habitats such as coral reefs and alpine meadows could drive many plant and animal species to extinction.
Q: Could global warming trigger a sudden catastrophe?
A: Recently, researchers -- and even the U.S. Defense Department -- have investigated the possibility of abrupt climate change, in which gradual global warming triggers a sudden shift in the earth's climate, causing parts of the world to dramatically heat up or cool down in the span of a few years.
Q: What country is the largest source of global warming pollution?
A: The United States. Though Americans make up just 4 percent of the world's population, we produce 25 percent of the carbon dioxide pollution from fossil-fuel burning -- by far the largest share of any country. In fact, the United States emits more carbon dioxide than China, India and Japan, combined. Clearly America ought to take a leadership role in solving the problem. And as the world's top developer of new technologies, we are well positioned to do so -- we already have the know-how.
Q: How can we cut global warming pollution?
A: It's simple: By reducing pollution from vehicles and power plants. Right away, we should put existing technologies for building cleaner cars and more modern electricity generators into widespread use. We can increase our reliance on renewable energy sources such as wind, sun and geothermal. And we can manufacture more efficient appliances and conserve energy.
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who? meeeeeeee?
get firefox!
