16 December 2007

do you hear the waaaahhhhmbulance coming to get me?

it was bebe's turn to head to the e.r. last night. he's fine. he had some sort of odd little wound on his finger that chose a weekend to full on fester up and become horribly infected. it had to be drained. waiting until his doctor's office opened on monday was not an option.

i seriously had a moment, on the phone with the nurse, where i hesitated in fear of how much another e.r. visit would cost. between he and i, we have really made the medical rounds as of late. is it really that bad? could we wait? how will we afford another bill?

after i slapped myself around for several minutes for even entertaining such utter ridiculousness, off we went. on the drive out, i wondered if they would pull up his outstanding bill and send us on our way. far stranger (criminal) things have happened. watch
sicko if you haven't already. it will rip the heart right out of your chest.

welcome to america. where even if you have insurance, you will still be thousands of dollars in debt if you have to use it.

when we got home, i sat down and got all of the bills from the last two months together. i've been terrified to add them up and have been putting it off, hoping the insurance company might end up paying more by some miraculous twist of fate - you know, that they might actually cover what they said they would when i called them to see if bebe's big dental visit would be covered.

to date, the total between he and i is $15,000.

of course, i then began playing the, "do i really need these surgeries?" game with myself. by the time this is all said and done - we will owe $30, 000 - at least. i'm sure this surgery to remove the breast mass is "experimental" and the other surgery to rid me of the pre-cancerous cells "isn't medically necessary" somehow.

pirates. and not the cool kind, either.

there is something seriously wrong with this. i have no idea how i will ever pay this off. i figured up what we will be able to scrape together and basically, all of the places that want money from me will get about $10 a month. if we're lucky.

the saddest part is, i know we are not alone. 4.5 million of us don't even have health insurance. and for some insane reason, "we" are still terrified of universal healthcare.

fuck it. i'm going to cuba.

michael moore is right. something has to change. talk about a threat to america.

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