06 November 2007

where do i get off?

apparently, i'm not handling this month's worth of nasty health events as well as i thought i was. my back is one moment away from failing me. i cannot begin to describe the pain, nor the frustration that goes along with it. if i move, at all, i hurt. hell, i hurt when i don't move. all of my normal activities are accentuated with pain that makes me sick to my stomach. ah, the things i take for granted. like walking and bending and lying still...

i've had these bulged discs for years - and since they were diagnosed, they've gone haywire when presented with stress. it truly is amazing what the psyche can manifest into the body! the last time this happened was after arriving home from the dnc protest back in 2000 - after days of wondering when the police were going to decide to beat us all down during peaceful protests. go figure. but i digress. i'm having a hell of a time trying to study for my exam thursday, finish my summary for tomorrow and i won't even get into the logistics surrounding a Very Busy bebe and housecrap that i don't care for anyway and... does someone want to come break my arm to take my mind off of my back? ;) i hear that works.

i do have great news on the health of moi front. see? i'm not all gloom and doom. i met with the surgeon today who has opted to remove the suspicious lump. she doesn't think it is anything worrisome, but is going to take it away. i like that. i like that a lot. i should have the results from my other biopsies back this week. there may to be another lazer type surgery for that - we shall see. my body is not pleased with me this month, needless to say.

all i can do at this point is laugh. it really, truly is ridiculous, how nutty these weeks have been. the timing, blah blah blah.

and it keeps occurring to me that i shouldn't really complain, given how horribly people suffer daily in this world, because of my country - based on the whims of few mindless, greedy, arrogant people. darfur, iraq, afghanistan, those not holding the chunk of the wealth, the list goes on and on and on. next post? entitlement.

my pain is so temporary. where do i get off, anyway? how dare i. seriously. for reals.

back to the books.

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