23 June 2007

my dinner with tua

by the way, if you've never seen the film i swiped this post's title from, shame on you. go rent it.

so tua had a little interview up the other day that quite delighted me to read. i decided to take the challenge, knowing the questions he'd pose to yours truly would certainly be, um, interesting. ;)

thinking cap?

typing fingers?

here we go!

1. If you and your Husband could completely reverse roles and identities, physically, mentally, etc. in your marriage, i.e., he be the wife, you be the Husband, which of you do you think would be most successful in your new role, explain why, and tell why the other wouldn't be as successful?

beings how we are the least traditional couple i know in the wedded arena construct, i think we could swap the 'ol societally prescribed roles fairly easily. we already have in many ways... he cooks, cleans, and does a mean load of laundry better than i could any day, hands down. he's a fantastic father. i think he would probably be most successful over all, though. i don't think i could work as much as he does without having a complete and total breakdown. seriously. i stand in awe of the pace that he keeps, being completely present with us, juggling all of the jobs, his writing... i don't know if his paintings would rock like mine do, though. or if he could pull off being a pacifist. hmmm... may be a wash, after all.

2. Thru the miracle of science, you can pick ONE attribute (kindness, toughness, pity, etc), and forever embed that attribute in your Son. Please explain why your Son would be best served with this attribute all his life vs all others.

one? just one? ok. fine.

compassion/awareness. damn. i think that really is two. i think there is such a lack of it today - young, old and in between. i think it would serve him well to be conscientious of others in relation to himself, to give him a firm grounding in this world. i also think compassion is a necessary attribute vis-a-vis the impact that actions and words have on all of the people we share this planet with, not to mention the planet itself. all other attributes stem from compassion/awareness, methinks. it is central to everything.

3. Your blog shows you involved with many, many interests/concerns, and your diversified writing supports that. Pick out 3 that you feel are most immediately important to the continuation of the Human Race, and explain your logic for all three.

three? ok, tua. you're just plain mean. :) perhaps i can be broad and pack a lot into each of my three? sounds delicious. the three biggest thoughts, weighing on my mind right now:

*free paris hilton!
*who will win american idol?
*does my ass look fat in this?


* violence against/exploitation of people. i think the two are more than closely related. violence against women, violence against others, violence against ourselves, violence against other countries - leads to exploitation of people throughout the planet. no one should suffer while being forced to make a pair of over-priced tennis shoes - no one should be murdered for oil and oil profits. period. war sucks. sweatshops suck. violence sucks. cut it out. now. there is always another way.

* the environment. exploiting the earth for the sake of a buck - there is no excuse. mama earth is gonna boot us if we keep up this pace, and i won't blame her one bit. our food systems need to be more locally based and sustainable grown organically. we must learn to consume less, create less waste and recycle more. global climate change is upon us, and we each play a role in it. cheif seattle said it best:
"the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. all things are connected like the blood which unites us all. man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. whatever he does to the web, he does to himself."

*speaking my truth and encouraging others to always do the same. to never stop learning and evolving and building bridges. we all matter, we are all connected. this is about all of us. to have the conviction to stand up for what we believe in. as malcolm x said, "if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

4. You wrote one of the most emotionally raw, from the depth's of the soul, posts that I have ever read since I've been blogging, and I congratulate you for it. In hindsight, do you ever regret sharing in such detail, and do you think knowledge of what you posted, changed people's perceptions of you at all? Is there anything realistically achievable, that can be done to bring this horror under control, or is it forever out of control, and 'Women Beware?"

how'd you find that? that post had to have been buried fairly deep!

no regrets. none whatsoever. and it's funny, not funny ha-ha, but funny that you bring this up now, when the past two days have found me cursing the system and culture that seemingly condones this shit. i've come to the conclusion that men will continue to do these horrible things to women because THERE IS RARELY EVER ANY CONSEQUENCE FOR THEIR ACTIONS.

recently, a young woman here was pushed into her car in a busy-ish target parking lot in broad daylight and later killed. a couple of years ago, a friend was assaulted by her male roommate and the cops refused to do anything because they didn't see it happen. he wasn't even brought in for questioning. a few days ago i was schooled at work by a defense attorney that told me what sicily sue would be facing from the defense attorney in her trial. it makes me so angry. and i feel so. helpless.

the simple fact is that no woman is ever truly safe. i've been thinking a lot again about what the answer is. and all i can come up with for certain is that i have to do my very best to raise bebe in a way that he would never consider committing such a horrible act against a woman. i've thought often that mandatory self-defense classes for women should be considered, but that still doesn't hold a rapist or woman beater responsible and it doesn't begin to get to the root of the problem.

on an even larger scale - i just don't know. i like what island amazon commented in that post, about the men in pre-industrial japan being made a pariah in their communities. instead, they by and large aren't even being slapped on the wrist - and many many many rapes/assaults continue to go unreported. ultimately, women will have to move beyond a place where they simply hope it never happens to them and speak up. men need to step up and examine whatever it is that is causing such an obscene disrespect for women in this culture - one that results in sexual and other forms of violence. and those men that wouldn't dream of hurting a woman need to be counted as well. perhaps the answer lies with them. i wish i knew.

mu question is this - why isn't this epidemic splashed all over the news? why are we horrified by a woman being forced to wear a burqa, but not by the sheer numbers of women whose lives are deemed meaningless by this "justice" system and society?

as far as that post changing one's perception of me, i really have no idea... did it?

5. You are of course, the famous inventor of the "Poop Sandwich." When you get old, senile, and don't have control anymore, what would be appropriate for Bebe to offer YOU, as a retaliatory sandwich of similar content and quality?

HA! first of all, i will never be old and senile- nor will i ever lose control. ;)

ok, so this isn't a sandwich, but how about a nice tall glass of iced urine-ade? ewwww! gross me out! perhaps with a side of bite sized toe jam and ear wax sandwiches with the crusts cut off?


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