16 June 2007

"mommy! look! i found SUGAR!"

except it wasn't sugar that bebe had found, it was a silica gell packet - neatly concealed in a zipper compartment in daddy's new ottoman that i didn't even know was there. it gets better.

i see that a corner has been bitten off. and that it says dangerous - do not eat! in big letters with lots of chinese characters. i don't trust the food coming out of china at this point, much less synthetic thingys.

"where did you find this?"
"in daddy special present ottoman!"

i now see the overturned ottoman, zipper unzipped.

"did you eat any?"
"mmmm hhhmmmmm! i eat SUGAR!"

i don't completely believe him, as the packet still looks to be pretty full.

"how many did you eat?"
"a lot! four! in mouth! on tongue!"

i check his mouth. nada.

"did it taste like sugar?"
"NNNOOOOOO! taste like PLASTIC!"

not that i would know, but i bet it would, indeed.

i run to the phone and call poison control. while i'm on hold, i examine the sneakily hidden area of the ottoman and find no other packets.

the nurse comes on the line and says this is common and it isn't poison. (?!) ummmmm, ok? "but it says... " she assures me it is fine - that this happens all the time.

i have to wonder - who thought to put something potentially nasty in packaging that a child would definitely want to eat if given half the chance? perhaps they should start putting rat poison in juice boxes with little straws?

i'm just sayin'.

i tell bebe to never eat anything he finds without showing it to mommy first. he nods.

i call will to tell him about it. two words into the conversation, i turn around, and bebe has ANOTHER packet, empty, in hand.

he's poured it onto the window sill and is playing with the little balls. they are everywhere! i hang up and get the vacuum.

"i ate MORRRRRE sugar!"

so much for that nod.

he's fine, hours later. but.

i just found a bite that looks to be that of a spider on his leg. huge, red, hard.

and so it goes.

mind you, this is on the heels of the single most nasty stomach bug i have ever witnessed. bebe is ok now, but he decided that mommy should share in the fun. it's a-lingering and isn't letting go. i can honestly say i have never been this sick in my life. blech. i'm ready for it to pass, in the biggest way. i want my head to stop pounding, to not feel pukish for two seconds, and to not almost pass out every time i stand up... i won't even talk about the other level of craptacularness. literally.

ok, kara! stop! enough! too much information!

(but since it is already out there, how exactly does such a little guy produce THAT MUCH... uh... fecal matter? seriously, it was like half of his body weight every time! he practically lived in the shower!)

poop sandwich jokes aren't even funny today. don't even go there, tua. ;)

and on that note, off to bed for this kid.

sweet dreams...

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