09 July 2006


…in realizing that the majority of my blog entries don’t even begin to describe the immense joy that I hold nor do they reflect all of the beauty that I see on a day-to-day basis, it must be recognized and acknowledged that this is also what drives me. it is truly the strangest mixture of despair and hope, of joy and pain – i don’t even know that i can describe it. all that i do know is that amongst all of the horribleness that i force myself to pay attention to in the world there is real beauty and wonder…

like today – it’s fantastically gray and rainy - everything outdoors is getting a much-needed drink. the air smells fresh, not like the baked city air of the weekday rush-to-get-nowhere. it is a lazy and cozy day. it’s cool out, too – literally - the bebe has been pretty hot lately. our a/c shot craps a week ago today. and yet, he just keeps on playing and hugging and living every moment to it’s fullest - as if to say he doesn’t care, as long as he has me and dada and food and love and books, everything is just fine in his world. realizing this, everyday with him, often brings me to tears. he also serves as a constant reminder of innocence, of all things pure and unscathed. of what could be. he makes me smile, the biggest. he makes me feel as if i could explode with unadulterated delight. he teaches me something new everyday. and i thought i’d be teaching him… silly me.

i have an amazing partner that I love biggest and mostest, a completely whacky family, and equally amazing, dynamic, and inspiring friends. i love you! heck, i can finally even say that i love myself! i truly “have” everything a girl could want – and probably more than one even needs.

there is balance in the chaos. perhaps, this is why i feel so passionately when i read that a 14- year- old girl is raped and slayed by the very people that are in her homeland to protect her –and that this is being done with my tax money and supposedly, in my name. perhaps this is why a world without war and poverty is something i feel i need to work towards. i have a responsibility to the planet and all of its peoples – the beauty and truth and wonder must be protected. i’ am a continuous work in progress. like Dylan so eloquently put it, “those who aren’t busy being born are busy dying.” i don’t have all the answers, but i’am looking – and i’am open. for myself, it is extremely counter-productive to harbor anger and negativity – i try my best to acknowledge these kinds of emotions and release them. they do serve a purpose, after all. writing has always been a safe haven for me, as long as i’ve been able to write. i’ve been thinking about all of this, all day long. and if you’re still reading – thank you for sharing this journey with me.

there really is a point to all this. hang tight.

so, a few minutes ago, i finally got around to picking up the latest copy of utne reader that’s been hanging out with my copy of mother jones that i just haven’t gotten to yet… and lo and behold, there’s this amazing interview. synchronicity. (see? we’ve come full circle!) it showed up at just the right time. you should read it, too. here it be.

enjoy your perfectly cozy, drizzling sunday eve. or whatever weather you may be happening to have in your neck ‘o the woods. and i shall talk to you soon. i’m going to go smooch my lovey-dove, and cover the bebe with all of the kisses in the world and listen to that perfect, pure giggle. maybe listen to rain. be well…


FAIR USE NOTICE: This site may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We have posted it here in an effort to advance the understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democratic, scientific, social justice and other issues. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. The material in this site is provided for educational and informational purposes only.